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The Master Prefers What Occurs

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THE MASTER PREFERS WHAT OCCURS
 
If you have been reading any of my posts throughout this worldwide adventure, you have probably noticed we have had some of the highest of highs but also some really low lows.
 
Whenever you make a huge life change, you have to be willing to accept that so much of what you thought to be true is going to be challenged.
 
Many of us go through our days and consequently our life going through the motions.
 
It is almost like driving your car to work or driving home from work.
 
In the beginning, you notice every turn, every stop light, every beautiful home and every ugly home. You notice exactly what the road feels like and every pothole or bump. You pay attention to which lanes move faster and the ones that have a tendency to get backed up.
 
In short, you are fully awake and fully present.
 
Then something happens.
 
You get into a routine. You stop noticing things and you just start going through the motions.
 
This happens to all areas of our life if we are not careful.
 
When our job becomes routine, we start to go through the motions.
 
When our relationships become routine, we start to go through the motions.
 
When we are just going through the motions, life becomes ordinary. There is much less effort involved.
 
We live in the middle when the highs are just above the midline and the lows are just below the midline. We never experience the true highs or lows that life has to offer.
 
Sometimes I wish I could live in the midline. It seems a lot easier and sometimes easier looks good to me.
 
The problem is there is something about my DNA that doesn’t allow me to do “easy.”
 
Sometimes that leads me to the peak of a mountain, literally, experiencing some of the most amazing views and feeling like I am on top of the world.
 
Other times it leads me down in the dumps pondering my identity and my very existence.
 
This has been my MO since I have been a kid.
 
Looking back though, I can see the lesson in every challenge and every victory. I can see the beauty in the amazing moments and the lessons I learned from the really crappy ones. When I do this, I am in full gratitude.
 
The biggest challenge is feeling that sense of gratitude in the moment of facing great adversity. It’s a lot easier to experience it in hindsight.
 
It has been said that ‘the master prefers what occurs.’
 
This goes for everything – the good and the bad.
 
- Matt Westheimer
Red River Gorge, Kentucky

It was a rough morning…

Red River Gorge, Kentucky

Red River Gorge, Kentucky

It was a rough morning climbing.

I woke up really excited to climb and we hiked down to a well know crag in Meir Valley at the Red River Gorge in Kentucky to set up shop for the morning.

It was beautiful. You had to walk through an archway of a huge boulder which took us to our private oasis of climbing perched high on top of a hillside.

I started with a couple of easier climbs which turned out to be a blast. Both of them followed a great line to the top and were perfect warm-ups.

I then decided to attempt a couple of the tougher climbs.

The first one I tried was well within my range but I hit a sticking point which really frustrated me. I started blaming the rock (Crazy, I know). I then started blaming the people who put the bolts in that I needed to attach my rope to.

After much blaming, I finally had to come to the conclusion I just didn’t have it. I finally begrudgingly finished the route after a lot of struggle but I had some assistance so it didn’t feel like much of a victory.

I then decided to redeem myself on a slightly harder route on the same wall. I made it to the first bolt but could not figure out how to get to the second bolt so I had to bail and get lowered down without completing the route. It was the first route I have tried in the last couple of months that I couldn’t finish and gave up on.

That is either a testament to my willpower and tenacity in choosing to not give up or the fact that I am just not challenging myself enough. I’ll leave the judgment up to you.

Anyway, I was looking forward to getting out of that area and meeting friends of ours at a very sought after area of Meir Valley called Bruise Brothers.

It is a beautiful wall with some amazing lines.

I started on some easier routes and then decided to step up to some harder stuff. After the struggles I had on the previous wall earlier in the day I was resolved to just stick to the easier stuff but I saw a route I just couldn’t say no to.

It started out with some technical moves and then moved to an overhang with some big moves and had a great finish. I got up with no problem and started to build my confidence again.

The next one I wanted to do looked amazing but was at the peak of my ability. I’ll be honest I was scared to get on the wall. It was a huge climb with only a little crack to use about 40 feet off the ground.

Fortunately, another couple of climbers decided to do it before us. It was probably a bit of a false sense of confidence because he was a much better climber than I was and made it look way too easier.

Either way, I decided to give it a go.

Surprisingly, I made it without too much effort.

I was re-energized and wanted to test my limits for the last climb.

We shifted over to a really interesting climb.

The first part starts off as a fairly easy climb straight up the wall. At least it should have been easy but ended up feeling much harder than it should have been.

The next part is a giant overhanging roof about 30 feet off the ground that you have to climb horizontal to the ground below you and then over the top for the finish.

I resolved that I was going to have to take a couple of falls but there was no way I was going to give up on this.

What’s funny is a friend of mine completed the route just before me and still had his friend’s gear up there. His friend shouted at him to take his gear back down and put the rope directly through the anchors just in case I didn’t finish it.

Reflexively I shouted, “Leave it up there. I’m finishing it and I’ll bring it back down.” It was my little version of the “burning the boats” story where retreat and failure were not an option. I was going to finish this no matter what.

As I reached the top of the first part of the climb, I leaned back and peered over my head.

Doubts started to set in. It looked a lot harder up close than it did from the ground.

But there was no giving up. Remember, I told him to leave his gear at the top. I had to finish this climb now.

I decided to take it one bolt at a time; total presence.

There were 3 bolts and a finishing anchor.

I grabbed onto the first part of the roof, leaned back, and brought my feet a bit higher. A quick draw was within reach so I reached down, grabbed the rope, and clipped it in the carabiner.

One down, three to go.

I reached up to the next part of the roof, heel hooked the other part of the roof, and saw the next quick draw was within reach. I slowed my breath, relaxed my body, reached down, grabbed the rope, and slowly and methodically placed it in the next carabiner.

Two down and two to go.

The next one was a huge reach. I searched for a moment, found a decent hold, grabbed it, got my legs up and clipped in. I looked up and found the anchor just a short easy climb away.

I was so focused and so present that I was surprised the finish was right in front of me.

A wave of emotion and a tremendous sense of accomplishment came over me as I clipped into the final anchor.

It is easy to live life in the middle where there is no true sense of accomplishment but also no real risk of failure. It is easy to play it safe.

But sometimes, just sometimes, it is worth it to burn the boats and destroy the bridges so failure is not an option and there is a point of no return.

That is really when we are tested. That is where the sweetest juice of life can be found.

– Matt Westheimer

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039: Finding Your Core Focus

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All the greats in the world have a core focus.

For Mother Teresa, it was service to humanity. For Gandhi, it was the fight for freedom of India from Great Britain using non-violence. For Martin Luther King, Jr, it was the fight for equal rights in America. For Lee Kuan Yew, it was to secure the future of Singapore.

Your “core focus” is what drives the direction of your life. It is the rudder of your ship.

It is the most important thing you can do for yourself.

In this episode, I help you to find yours.

Enjoy!

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Finding Calm in the Chaos…

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Amed, Bali

 I used to think that finding calmness in the chaos was impossible. I used to think there was a correlation between our physiology and our circumstances. I used to think a peaceful mind was the result of an easy life.

I find more and more that paradoxically the opposite to be true. I find that the people that have the most peace and calmness in their lives are the ones that have had to overcome the most adversity. I find that finding calm in the chaos is the path to resilience, and resilience is like a suit of armor against suffering.

As the ancient Buddhist proverb says, “Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.”

I find the greatest gift we can give ourselves when we are going through a challenge, stressful event, or personal chaos is to get back to the breath. Our breath directly effects our physiology. Typical breathing we do when we are under stress is short and shallow breathing. This breathing activates our sympathetic nervous system and drives us deeper into a state of stress. This detrimental feedback loop continues until we break it. A simple way to break it is to come back to our breath. Take deep and intentional belly breaths. This takes us out of sympathetic dominance and into the parasympathetic zone.

When we get back to our breath, it accomplishes 2 things:

Number one is it takes us out of sympathetic dominance and relaxes our physiology.

Number two is it breaks our focus on the challenge and centers us in a present state. It is impossible to focus on two things at once. When we think we are focusing on two things at once, what we are really doing is bouncing back and forth between the two so quickly it only seems like we are focusing on both at the same time.

For example, right now in your mind, I want you to describe the room you are located in vivid detail. At the same time, I want you to think of your “to do” list for the day.

Got it?

Next time you’re going through a challenge and think there is no way out, get back to the breath.

As Albert Einstein said, “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking used when we created them.”

You still have to do the work, but this is a great start.

Keep mindful,

Dr. Matt Westheimer

Chiang Mai, Thailand

Time is Running Out…

Time is running out.

What in the world could I be talking about? I am talking about setting your goals for 2016! Some of you might be thinking I am crazy. Some you might be saying to yourself , “It is only October. I still have 3 more months before it’s 2016 and I need to set goals. Pleeeeeeenty of time!” My answer to you – “WRONG.”

Chiang Mai, Thailand

Chiang Mai, Thailand

Would you walk into a gym and throw your maximum weight on the bar the moment you walked in? Do you get to your office the moment the doors open and it’s time to start the day? Do you study for a meeting or a test the day of the event? Do you plan a presentation the day of the talk? I hope not!

It takes time to “prime the pump.” The term refers to older pumps where the suction valve had to be primed with water in order for it to function properly. The same applies to your goals.

If you want to get the most out of your goals, it is best to have them lined up at least a couple of months before the end of the year so you can plan and prepare to crush them beginning with the start of the new year.

Now is time for me to insert a shameless plug. If you need help with the goal setting process, click here and you can download a free copy of my goal setting e-book.

Seriously though, don’t be like everyone else and wait until the beginning of the year to start setting your goals, or even worse, fail to set any goals at all and just take whatever may come your way.

Happy goal setting!

Dr. Matt Westheimer